I called my landlord this weekend and asked him to come up and look at my dishwasher because it's a Maytag and they just recalled 2.3 million of them. Apparently, they keep catching fire. I have no idea how a dishwasher catches fire. Doesn't that defy all laws of physics or logic or hydroponics or something? Anyway, the guy says to me, "I don't have time to check all the washers. Let me know if it starts acting up."
ACTING UP?? Hold old there, Smokey. The first sign of "acting up" is going to be my kitchen bursting into flame! What am I supposed to do when it flares up? Throw water on it? IT'S ALREADY FULL OF WATER YOU IDIOT!!! I live in a two-bedroom tinderbox with 10,000 books and a cat with a shaky bladder. I'm not prepared to fight electrical fires! 
How the hell does Maytag build a dishwasher that burns under water? Did they partner with the Department of Defense? WHO PUT A THERMITE BOMB IN MY DISHWASHER?!?!?! Is Whirlpool making landmines on the swing shift? What else are they making? Thermonuclear Water-Piks? Bunker Buster Toilet Bombs?
Maytag says I can call them up and they'll send out a repairman to fix the thing. Waitaminit!I thought they only had that one 75-year-old repairman. I gotta wait three months for Johnny Diaper to come over and replace a capacitor?! It's going to be at least three months 'cause you know that guy can't drive at night anymore.
What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Throw a pot roast in with every load? Sure, I'll mix the Palmolive with some rosemary and couple of bay leaves and turn the thing into a crock pot.
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO COME OUT AND FIX MY CAR BOMB/DISHWASHER! MY KID HAS OUTGROWN HIS FLACK JACKET AND MY ASBESTOS BATHROBE IS STARTING TO ITCH!
3 comments:
Hi Paul, i come to your site via fly blog uh i guess if somebody have a bad trade at least they can smile if not feel at least i'm luckier than YOU so why don't you open another blog called The Happiest/Elated Stockbroker (just a suggestion)so all them will be jealous and fell like to chase the price ie i wonder what's your comment for BONT if u start the new one (smile)btw ugh how come all asian pacific today are frezee just waiting the non farm payroll?
Hi 'Nony,
Yes, my goal is the take the edge of the bad taste we get from bad trades. Think of me as Listerine for the soul. Which is why I don't have a Happy Stockbroker blog. If I made a million dollars a day I wouldn't be nearly as funny. In fact, you probably couldn't stand to be around me.
Thanks for stopping by, N. I don't know much about BONT except that it just jumped up 7.56 so naturally I don't own any. Wait for it to go into the toilet. You'll know I'll be a majority shareholder by then.
Good Job! :)
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