Last week, Chiquita Banana (CQB) pleaded guilty to paying Colombian terrorists protection money. Is there something going on here I'm not aware of? What kind of terrorist organization goes after a banana truck? How much banana bread do they think we're eating over here? Were they trying to bring the Wisconsin Granny Cartel to it's knees? 
If these criminals are brazen enough to go after America's 17th favorite fruit where will they strike next? I've heard rumors of kumquat terrorists in Brazil. And what about the cherry tomato gangsters of Nicaragua? They could bring the entire side salad industry to it's knees! If Costa Rica doesn't post extra guards along the blue cheese pipeline it's fooling itself.
Has Chiquita Banana lost it's corporate mind? Who the hell pays protection money to banana terrorists? Don't these things grow anywhere it's hot and sticky? Wouldn't that would be every hotel room in Florida? And who cares about bananas in the first place? I can't have a banana? Fine. I'll have a nice peach. NO ONE EVER BROKE INTO A HOUSE AND STOLE THE BANANAS!!!
7 comments:
Wisconsin Thunder Muffins and Motown Yellow Cake!! I love it!!!
waaaaaaa!
I can't see the pics! And you know how much I love visuals!!!
ARGH!!! Stupid stupid blogger! I just reloaded the pics. And my 9mm. My mouth or blogger's? Let me think....
We were paying up to $17 per kilo for bananas here in Aus last year after Cyclone Larry wiped out the banana belt in the tropics. Protection money justified at those prices, but damn it made it hard to get a fix of thunder muffins to pack in the kids' school bags..
Makes you have that internal debate between "yes, this is irrational and stupid and must be stopped" and "how do I get in on this!"
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