Nobody Likes a Winner?

What the hell is going on here!? Google triples their fourth quarter profits and the stock goes down $20?!?! I can't be buying $500 shares if a Wall Street's jittery retards drop their pants and crap on their wallets every time a company does better then expected.

The stock market is the only place where exceeding your goals is rewarded by cutting your pay. What am I supposed to do now? Hope their search engine throws a rod? WHAT KIND OF DOUCHEBAG DUMPS HIS STOCK WHEN A COMPANY ANNOUNCES RECORD PROFITS?!? That's like running up to the guy who just won a gold medal and punching him in the face. What is Google supposed to do? Tell everyone to go home early until Yahoo! gets it's act together?

Anyone remember the last time they used Yahoo! to find something on the internet? What was it, 1998? You were probably looking up Boys II Men lyrics. Google has nothing to worry about from anyone. Not Yahoo! Not Yoo-hoo. Not that uptight butler at Ask.com. That guy looks like he just dropped a load in his pants. The only thing you're going to ask him is where's the bathroom and why isn't he in it. (Yeah, I know his picture isn't on the website anymore. Trust me, he's working behind the scenes. Way behind the scenes. He's lint rolling his cummmerbund while he's supposed to be stealing metadata from dogpile.com)

Get Google back up where it belongs, Wall Street, or I'll send my man Friday over there to hike up your slacks and split your hairy man shares.

Tomorrow: The Angry Stockbroker throat punches Apple